yamachine801: ([chinen]he's prettier than us.)
[personal profile] yamachine801
Title: White Crayon [7/8]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] nodoka06
Pairing: YamaChii, AriYama, TaDaiki, YamaUmi and UmiChii
Summary: He has been watching him for a long time without being noticed. He loves him so much but his love never reached him. He can't see him; he is just like a white crayon that is inscribed in a white paper.   


Ryosuke locked himself the moment he arrived home and darted to his room, hiding his tears from his family not wanting them to worry. It was hard for him to hide the pain that is caused by the scene he saw inside Daiki’s room, to see his two precious friends kissing, to see his special someone kissing another guy. He couldn’t blame them though. He was jus t this coward guy who can’t convey his real feelings towards his childhood friend. He was just afraid of rejection. But, there’s nothing different at all. He is still a loser. He lost without even trying to stand up and fight for his feelings that have been hidden for way too long. Ryosuke rolled up into a ball on his bed and silently cried. It hurt him so much to know that the two have been lying to him, they should have told him the real score between him so that bit by bit, even it’s hard for him, he would try to move on, to learn how to be happy to see the guy he loves happy with another man.

Yuri was so worried of Ryosuke now that he knew the reason why the taller one suddenly ran with tears on his beautiful face and entirely forgot to pick up his note from his best friend. He only watched him solemnly, standing like a statue near the door. He slowly made steps forward forming no sound with a desire of nothing but to comfort the now devastated guy in front of him. But before he could lay a soft touch on his shoulder, the person whom he wanted to help had faintly pronounced those words he least wanted to hear, “Leave … me … alone.”, he said between his cries. Unwilling though, Yuri slowly withdrew his pale hand and looked down. He took some steps backward and sat on the empty chair of his study table. He didn’t want to leave him alone. It’s fine for him to act like a dumb, to stay quiet until Ryosuke feels better, but he will never leave him alone even if Ryosuke tells him again and again.

“I said, leave me alone.” he repeated.

Yuri shook his head although Ryosuke would not see it since he was still curled like an old rubbish soccer ball. “No.” he affirmed. “I stay.”

He thought that he would gonna compel again but Ryosuke kept on being stagnant holding back his tears by himself. He doesn’t want to be seen by anyone on such state that’s why he was telling the little boy to leave him alone though honestly, although he doesn’t want to admit it, he felt somewhat safe for knowing that Chinen Yuri was there willing to stay forever beside him. That even he wanted to be alone, there’s still someone who is so persistent to stay and is willing to be a helping hand for him. Just like what he had been to Yuri when the latter was on his peak of melancholy.

After few minutes, Ryosuke’s mobile phone rang and it was Daiki on the other line telling him that he would gonna pass to their house to give back his notebook. The guy on the other line felt awkward not to hear any response from him except from short ‘un’ and so clueless that they are the reason why their friend was behaving that way. The call didn’t last long as it was Ryosuke who hang up first. Yuri was just watching him, attempting to protect him with his eyes.

“Why am I crying like this?”, Ryosuke laughed sniffing and wiped the tears on his eyes. “I should have looked stupid to you.”, he said gazing at Yuri. Yuri shook his head, “Not really.”, he was not sure if he should smile that finally Ryosuke stopped on his drama and was now talking to him again. “Ima daijoubu?” he asked.

“Daijoubu.” he smiled weakly.
“Are you sure that you’re really alright?”, he asked again, because as his dark eyes met his chocolate orbs once again, he could see still the emptiness inside him.
Ryosuke shrugged, “Not really … But I feel better.”, he admitted and spun to face him down. “Arigatou.”, he uttered.
“Eh?”He looked at him with a confused look. He doesn’t know what he had done to Ryosuke for him to be thankful. He didn’t know that by the simple thing he did – staying beside him, Ryosuke thought that he still has a companion to lean on, even that friend is not visible for everybody’s eyes, and he doesn’t care as long as he has someone that he could call him his friend.

Daiki arrived at the Yamada’s house soon without being noticed by Ryosuke. Daiki didn’t need to ring the doorbell since Ryosuke’s mother went outside to buy something and saw his son’s friend walking on the street and just let him went straight to his son’s room to bring his notebook where their homework were written. Daiki was about to knock on his friend’s room until he heard him talking by himself.

“Ryosuke, he’s outside.”, Yuri said when he felt Daiki’s presence outside.

Ryosuke then looked at the door, preparing himself to see the person behind the door. Daiki knocked. “dozo.”
He slowly turned the knob, and, without making any mistake of listening at the door again, he pushed his way into his friend’s room. He glanced at the surrounding to check if his friend was not alone, but no one was there aside from Ryosuke. When he heard the door close, he moved forward to give the notebook at him, “Here.” Sorry I almost forgot to return it but don’t worry, I have answered our homework as a compensation.”
“Oh thanks.” Ryosuke responded, stretching his arm to get his notebook with his head down, face clouded with all sorts of emotion.
Yuri felt the tension and thought Ryosuke needed some air so he opened the window carefully without being seen, welcoming the cold air inside the room. Ryosuke went back to his bed, sitting still with his head down. Daiki was only standing there, confused. A brief silence occupied the whole room.
“Yama-chan, is there something wrong?”, Daiki asked.
Ryosuke looked up and took a second to stare at him. He bit his lip to stop himself from replaying the scene earlier on his mind, “Are you ... and Yuya ….”
Just by hearing the name heated up his cheeks, “Un.” he nodded.
“Sou…”, Ryosuke blew out a long slow breath, collecting some strength to smile and said, “Omedetou.”
“Arigatou.” Daiki answered, smiling back at him.

Daiki left the house soon. Yuri’s brow furrowed for a moment before he blinked away when Ryosuke called his name. “Yuri.” he called, his soft voice echoed on his head.
“Yes, Ryosuke?”, he said back, his eyes following the track of the taller one climbing on his bed.
“It doesn’t hurt anymore.”, he put his right hand across his chest, pertaining to his heart. He showed him a small smile like telling him he was not lying anymore and he really feels more way better now. Yuri beamed, “well, that’s good!”
“I had no idea how did it happen. My heart had been running a race earlier when Daichan was outside, and it had started to hurt when he told me the truth. But when I congratulate him and he thanked me with a smile, the pain disappeared.” he eventually said.
Yuri sat beside Ryosuke who felt a wave of cool air take up the space between them. His soft pink mouth formed another smile as he thought about what to say. “I think it’s because … living with him will not make you the happiest, it is by … seeing him happy.” he stopped himself on giggling as he recycled what Umika said to him earlier.
“Sou ka na…” he looked at Chinen and blinked when he noticed that the smaller guy’s eyes were actually lit with laughter. “What’s funny?”
But he admitted nothing, “Betsuni.”

Yuri sat upon the window-seat on Ryosuke’s bedroom, staring out at the moonlight expanse. Even as Ryosuke was sleeping soundly at his bed, murmuring some incoherent alien words, he could still believe that he had a talk with Umika and Ryosuke had accepted the fact the Daiki has another person he loves more than him, more than as a friend. And more to it, he could scarcely believe that Ryosuke would see him too and that they would become good friends. It had been building for so long, but he had still believed him to be out of his reach. He slid his sight on the sleeping figure behind him and smiled how adorable and innocent Ryosuke is when he is asleep. He silently watched him but returned his sight out at the window again as a sudden light, a very very bright light belted on his face.

“I think it’s time for me to go to where I should be “


Only a chapter left!
Do you think that Chii really exist on the story? Maybe Yamachan have just been dreaming of a very very long dream
And it’s now clear to us that Chii really loves Yamachan, but how about Yamada? Does he feel the same way?
Where will Chinen go? *sings Where my Heart Belongs * lol
Do you want him to leave Yama-chan? oh no sa to shi ! Let’s stop Chinen by leaving a comment orz
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